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I have an 11-year-old boy, soon to be 12. His favourite thing to do is be at home, wearing a T-shirt and pants and in front of his computer with his headphones on. We hear from him when he’s hungry, thirsty and when he wants some Robux or some help from us. Are you in the same boat? Let’s talk about some ways to engage them as a family and tear them away from their beloved device. Whether it’s an Xbox, Playstation, iPad or computer, they’re all the same.
Set them a challenge
The whole reason they like gaming is the challenge it sets them and the drive to get better, destroy the enemies and become the best at the game. So set them challenges they will thrive off and want to take part in. His school set him some work we completed at home (thanks home school!) to make a cardboard marble run. He spent ages on it with his Dad designing and making it and it actually worked! We had a working model and it really inspired him. I’ve since found out you can get marble run kits to make a perpetual motion marble run which looks awesome! I’m putting it down for his Birthday list, I know he’ll get a kick out of making it and seeing it in action. You can find it and other cool toys for tween boys here.
Play to their passions
OK so there has to be something they enjoy that isn’t gaming. Maybe they’re into a particular sport, photography or videography, cooking or building things. What did they used to enjoy when they were younger? I guess we can rule out Thomas the tank engine but you get the idea. One way we re-connect is to find a TV show we both can enjoy together. He really enjoyed the BBC show ‘Best celebrity home cook,’ he got really into the competition, had his favourites and enjoyed all the drama of it. I liked it too and it became our thing to watch together.
We also enjoy going for dog walks together just me and him, it gives him time and space to talk to me without interruptions – the downside is I have to listen to the intricacies of how fast he can do the latest speed run on Roblox or which server is his favourite, but I’ll take what I can get.
Take them out to lunch
Growing boys sure do love food and doesn’t my fridge know it. Offer them their favourite meal out and they’ll be more than happy to comply. His favourites are a pub lunch (gammon egg and chips), Mcdonalds, Harvester, GBK and Pizza hut. Encourage them to leave phones etc at home and you’ll have a better time.
Have a yes day
Dedicate an entire day to them, or half a day if that’s all you can manage. Say you can do whatever you want together, as long as you’re together and not on a screen. If you both fancy a movie together then maybe make an exception, otherwise see where it takes you – you might be surprised at what they want to do. One of my son’s all-time favourite experiences with me was when we went to London on the train together and took part in a cooking experience. He still talks about it today.
Of course, there are a million and one individual games and activities you could do together, but I think these pointers give you the basics to expand on in your own way. Every family is different and every boy is too. My son loves his computer games and videos, so who am I to deny him what he loves? I just make sure we have some quality time together and he gets outside once in a while and talks to humans face to face.
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