Splitting up during pregnancy is not as unusual as you might think. What we are exposed to on mainstream and social media can lead us to believe that during pregnancy, everything is wonderful, happy and your partner are full of contentment. Although this is the case a lot of the time, this isn’t a reality for everyone.
Pregnancy is a time when issues already affecting your relationship can rise to the surface, it’s also a period where new differences of opinion can also arise. Preparing for a new baby represents a huge shift in your future, your lifestyle and your identity. This can be difficult to adapt to. In this article we will look at the specific reasons why relationship woes occur and how you can tackle them.
Reasons pregnancy is so challenging in a relationship
Couples who split up during pregnancy usually do so for a combination of reasons, here are some possible ones:
- Moving from being a couple to being parents is a difficult transition that signals an imminent change in your future which can be difficult to adjust to.
- Differences of opinion on finances, working and childcare arrangements when the baby is born
- A difference in the level of interest in the pregnancy, with one more enthusiastic than the other
- Some men fear they won’t receive the same affection from their partner once the baby arrives
- Women also worry they will lose the romance with their partners too and become concerned with their post-baby figure will not be as attractive to their partner
- You have morning sickness and your partner is not as sympathetic as they could be
- Both partners may worry their sex life will change or has already changed during pregnancy
- Both of you may secretly worry if you will be good parents
The presence of some of these problems mean behaviours change and communication breaks down. Over time, this can lead to further arguments and misunderstandings, building contempt and resentment. All of this can cause either partner to wonder whether or not a separation would be best for everyone. Couples who were already struggling are especially vulnerable to splitting up while those who had a healthier and happier relationship pre-pregnancy stand a better chance, typically.
How can you address relationship problems during pregnancy?
If you are experiencing relationship problems during your pregnancy there are some steps you can take:
Communicate
Speak to your partner honestly and sensitively about how you are feeling. Choose an interval when you are both calm and have time for a conversation. Explain what your expectations are for the future, clarifying your worries, concerns and fears. Make sure you ask them what theirs are too and take time to actively listen. Be willing to compromise in some areas and don’t sweep issues under the carpet as they will only return later down the line.
Use your support network
Talking to friends who have been through similar problems with their relationship during pregnancy can be a huge support. It can help you put things into perspective and learn more about what your options are. However, be mindful that every relationship is different, and what worked for others may not be the solution for you.
Consider counselling
Couples’ therapy can also be beneficial and can help you learn how to interact more effectively with your significant other. A counsellor will also look at how each partner is behaving and potentially damaging the relationship with harmful actions and offer constructive guidance.
Embrace the idea of being a single parent
In some cases, staying together is not an option. The prospect of being a single parent with a new baby can be daunting. In these cases, it’s even more imperative that you make use of your support network and ensure you are meeting your own needs.
Disclosure: collaborative post
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