Biologically, the ideal age for women to have a baby is between 20-24 but, in today’s society, that coincides with college and getting your first job, which isn’t conducive to starting a family. You may not even know what you want to do with life, let alone find someone with whom to spend the rest of your life and share responsibility for a baby. As technology and research into fertility have developed, so have your options for starting a family, whether you do it naturally, get a little help from science or fertility supplements for women or pursue other alternatives like adoption that do not include pregnancy. In fact, learning how to become a foster parent in Texas is helping many women experience the joys of motherhood when natural conception is no longer an option, regardless of age. Whether or not you are too old to start a family depends on your personal life, overall health, and desire to have children. While female fertility does decline with age, your age is not an absolute yes/no factor; neither is what other people tell you.
Things to Consider
The average age of first-time parents has been steadily increasing since the 1970s. The average first-time mother was 21 in the 1970s and is now 26, while the age of first-time fathers increased from 27 to 31. Up to 60% of women report they are delaying having children because they can not afford it. Having a child is expensive. The USDA estimates parents spend $13,000 annually per child. With the costs of healthcare and housing rising, wages staying stagnant and the exorbitant cost of childcare, couples are waiting until they are more financially secure to have children.
While you may have more money when you are older, it is also important to consider your energy level and overall health as you age. While you may be 40 when you start your family, you will be 58 when your child reaches 18. Your child may have to cope emotionally with your declining health as you age. You also may join what is known as the Sandwich Generation, caring for aging parents and young children simultaneously, which can be exhausting.
Get Ready
Only you and your partner can determine when you are ready to start a family, but you can take steps at any age to get your body ready for pregnancy. Quit unhealthy habits like smoking or drinking excessive caffeine. Work out and get sleep. Take fertility supplements and vitamins. Remember that while these suggestions can help increase your chances of a healthy pregnancy, the biggest indicator is egg health, which is largely determined by your age and genetics.
Know the Risks
While you are biologically able to have a healthy pregnancy and delivery until you experience menopause (which varies but generally sets in by 50), it is important that you understand there are risks associated with getting pregnant after 35, which the medical community, somewhat hyperbolically, calls geriatric pregnancy.
- Infertility
When females are born, their ovaries contain all the eggs they will have in their lifetime. With age, the number of eggs and the quality of them decrease. In your 20s, a woman has a 25% chance of becoming pregnant each cycle if she’s having regular unprotected sex, but that chance decreases by about 3% each year after 30. However, it is important to understand that infertility can strike at any age for reasons unrelated to age.
- Miscarriage
Because women in their 30s have lower egg quality, they are more likely to miscarry. Older women also tend to have certain medical conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure or obesity that also contribute to higher rates of miscarriage.
- Chromosomal Issues
Because of declining egg health, chromosomal issues in the baby are more likely, leading to developmental problems and congenital abnormalities, such as Down syndrome or neural tube defects.
Other Risks of Geriatric Pregnancy
- Higher probability of multiples
- Higher rates of gestational diabetes
- High blood pressure
- Lower birth weight
- Increased likelihood of C-section
Consult Your Doctor
It is always important to have regular appointments when pregnant, but it’s even more crucial if you are over 35. Most insurance companies designate being over 35 as Advanced Maternal Age (AMA) and provide access to additional testing. If you are considered AMA, schedule a preconception visit with your doctor and discuss your plans.
- Do you have any preexisting conditions that may make pregnancy more difficult?
- What lifestyle changes can you make to improve your fertility?
- Do they have any timing tips or treatments to improve your chances of conception?
- What prenatal vitamins or fertility supplements can increase your chances of conception?
- What preconception testing would they recommend?
In general, if you are over 35 and have been trying to conceive for six months or more, contact your doctor to discuss options.
Egg Freezing
Many issues that occur during pregnancy in women over 35, such as miscarriage and chromosomal abnormalities, are controlled by the quality of the egg. Technology offers a solution for low egg quality. While not a guarantee, egg freezing before age 35 can increase your likelihood of a healthy pregnancy after 35. The process involves taking the same drugs you would take for IVF to stimulate the release of multiple eggs rather than just one. Once the eggs are ready based on a few laboratory tests and ovarian ultrasound, you are sedated, and the eggs (generally up to 15) are removed with a needle, at which time they can either be frozen or fertilized with sperm and then frozen. When you are ready for a pregnancy, your eggs can be thawed and implanted in your uterus.
Success rate figures vary depending on a number of factors. In general, you have a 30-60% chance of conception. However, the process of freezing your eggs can be expensive. It costs about $10,000 to harvest and freeze the eggs, and you will need to pay a storage fee of about $600 per year. Once you are ready, it will cost about $5,000 to thaw and implant your eggs.
Other Options for Starting a Family
If you are over 35 and having trouble getting pregnant on your own, there are other options, depending on your situation.
- IUI
- IVF
- IVF with egg donation
- Surrogacy
- Embryo adoption
- Adoption
Respect the Journey
While the path to starting a family can get more challenging the older you are, remember that you are not alone. No one but you and your partner can determine if you are ready, and there are many factors involved in your decision. Remember that you are still a family, whether you started your family naturally or pursued an option other than pregnancy.
Disclosure: collaborative post
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