A Mother’s Instinct: A Nagging Feeling

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For those of you who know me, you’ll know me and my family have been through a traumatic time.  For those that don’t, and for those who always wondered how it really was, and still is for me, I’ve written my story.  It’s one I’ve been meaning to write since I started blogging eight months ago, but have struggled to start.  I have decided to write it all into a book so it can be read as a whole.  You see William isn’t my first child, he’s my second, and I  have actually given birth to five children – I just have three live children.

When I had my first child, Amy, there was a nagging feeling throughout my pregnancy that something wasn’t quite right. On the first scan, I was so relieved to see an actual baby in there, but from the scans I had seen as part of my Midwifery training, the baby didn’t seem as active. I thought it was just sleepy, which some are. I had all the tests available and all was well on the 20 week scan. After she was born, I noticed she stuck her tongue out a fair bit and kept it out whilst sleeping. Other than that she seemed normal and had no problems feeding. I still couldn’t shake the feeling I had, and postnatal depression didn’t help.

It just goes to show that a mother’s instinct is always right, if you think your child needs help or there’s something not right, always check and see your Doctor. 9 times out of 10 it’s normal, but a mother usually knows.


Part one of my story of the gift I couldn't keep

Her tongue was often out like this, when asleep and awake, everyone including health professionals told me it was normal

Eventually, after a long road, we got a diagnosis of Tay Sachs Disease. There was nothing anyone could do to cure or prevent the disease, but that’s not true of all diseases and syndromes, so trust your motherly (and fatherly) instincts!

For the full story, and to read the twists and turns my life took to give me my beautiful healthy babies, you can read my book The Gift I Couldn’t Keep on Amazon Kindle.



Don't ignore those nagging feelings, a mother's instinct is usually right. My story begins here, a heartbreaking story of love, loss and hope.

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  • Reply Pickinguptoys

    Have a feeling I’ll be sobbing at the next post… I remember having a transfusion on all 3 of mine and literally feeling myself coming to life 🙂 xx

    April 14, 2016 at 7:33 pm
    • Reply Midwife and Life

      Very strange feeling but made me so grateful for a lot of things

      April 14, 2016 at 7:36 pm
  • Reply Mrs Lighty

    Following with interest. I know you’ve been through a lot having read some of your other posts, and I have a feeling I’m going to be crying over the next few posts. I’m also going to look up to see if there’s a suitable blood donation session in my area that I can attend, having read this, thank you xxx

    April 14, 2016 at 8:44 pm
    • Reply Midwife and Life

      That’s wonderful, I know it will be gratefully received xx

      April 14, 2016 at 8:45 pm
  • Reply Louise

    Very brave Jenny, I will look forward to reading the next blog if looking forward to is the right expression

    April 14, 2016 at 7:49 pm
    • Reply Midwife and Life

      Thank you xx

      April 14, 2016 at 8:24 pm
  • Reply Louise

    Well done Jenny, i also think you’re very brave.
    I’ve already teared up just reading the 1st part, I’m surprised by how much I remember of your story.
    I look forward to reading the next installment xx

    April 15, 2016 at 9:10 am
    • Reply Midwife and Life

      You were there with me x

      April 15, 2016 at 9:12 am
  • Reply Rebecca Smith

    Very brave post xx

    April 16, 2016 at 12:39 pm
    • Reply Midwife and Life

      Thank you x

      April 16, 2016 at 12:46 pm
  • Reply Leila Gregory

    You’re so brave. I’ll be following this story. Sending huge hugs. I can’t imagine the next post will be easy to write xxx

    April 17, 2016 at 10:02 pm
    • Reply Midwife and Life

      Thank you x

      April 17, 2016 at 10:04 pm
    • Reply Midwife and Life

      Thank you, it’s in my head just needs to come out somehow

      April 17, 2016 at 10:06 pm

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