Guest post by Jono Ellis, CPO at Cognito
Hi, I’m Jono. I run Cognito, a UK GCSE and A-Level revision platform used by about 1.5 million students. Jenny was kind enough to host a guest post on Midwife and Life, because we talk to a lot of parents at exam season and the wellbeing side of things is the bit that comes up most. Revision is solvable. The stress around it tends to need a steadier hand.
If your teen is heading into exams, here are the things that seem to make the biggest difference in the families we hear from. None of it is groundbreaking. It’s the basics, done consistently.
Sleep is doing more work than you think
This one matters more than any revision technique. Teenage brains consolidate memory during deep sleep, so the late-night cramming session that finishes at 1am genuinely loses more than it gains. The parents we hear from with the calmest exam terms tend to aim for screens off by 9.30 and lights off by 10.30. Not perfectly, but most nights, which is enough.
Food is fuel, but it’s also a check-in
Skipped breakfasts and a dinner eaten on the bedroom floor are warning signs worth paying attention to. Meals together, even quick ones, are an easy way to see how your teen’s actually doing without making it into A Big Conversation.
Teach the long out-breath
When a teen catastrophises (“I’m going to fail, my life is over”), the body is in fight-or-flight before the brain catches up. A long, slow exhale (four counts in, six counts out) brings the nervous system back online. You don’t have to sit down and do breathing exercises with them, but modelling it audibly when you’re stressed yourself often does the trick. They pick it up.
Twenty minutes of walking, every day
A brisk walk does more for revision recall than another twenty minutes staring at the notes. The science is solid on this. Even better if there’s a dog involved, because then it isn’t a “go and clear your head” instruction, it’s just the dog walk.
Pick one platform and stick with it
The biggest source of stress in the families we talk to is rarely the exams themselves. It’s the constant feeling of being behind. For Science and Maths specifically, this is the gap Cognito was built to close: short videos and a dashboard that shows you clearly where the weak topics are. It’s free to use (with some limits on the free tier), and that clarity is what stops the panic, because at least you know where to start. Try it free first, and if your teen finds it useful, Midwife and Life readers get 20% off Pro with the code MIDWIFE20.
The signs that are worth taking seriously
Most exam stress passes once the timetable’s behind them. The signs to pay closer attention to are the ones that don’t shift after a few days. Real changes in appetite, withdrawal from friends, statements of hopelessness, sleep that’s completely broken rather than just disrupted. If any of those show up, don’t wait for exam season to end. Have a quiet word with your GP.
A phrase that’s done a lot of heavy lifting for the parents we know
“You don’t have to do it brilliantly today. You just have to do it.” It takes the pressure off the perfectionism while still gently pointing at the next step. Works on the teens we hear about, and tends to work on the parents using it too.
Exam season is short in the scheme of things. The job isn’t to make it stress-free, because that’s not realistic. The job is to make sure your teen comes out the other end with their mental health intact, their relationship with you intact, and the grade they got being enough. Hold onto the first two, even when the grade obviously matters too.
Guest post by Jono Ellis, CPO at Cognito. Partnered with Midwife and Life. Cognito is free to use. Readers get 20% off Cognito Pro with the code MIDWIFE20.
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