Now I hope I’m not ever in this situation, but I know many who are or have been, whether it’s your choice or not or you’ve become a widow unexpectedly, it happens. I’m not going to pretend I know what your’re going through or give you my tips, but I have got a guest post from someone who knows what your’e going through and can offer some advice.
Going through a divorce or a separation is traumatising and emotionally exhausting. On top of that, becoming single again after years of being in a relationship can be complicated and stressful, especially when you have children and need to be strong for them no matter what.
Fortunately, whatever complications have arisen, this situation won’t last forever and there will be a day when you’ll focus on rebuilding your life. If this day has already arrived and you feel ready to consider dating again, here are a few tips to make things a little easier:
1. Heal first, then date
If you’re keen to put an end to singlehood and find love again, congratulations, that’s fabulous! However, in order to really move on, you’ll need to work on a few things first. Primarily, although it might seem obvious, you must accept the fact that your previous relationship has ended and truly reconcile yourself with the idea that you probably won’t be reuniting with the father of your kids. This is tough but essential.
Additionally, if you still feel anger and resentment towards your ex and find yourself thinking about them constantly, then it’s highly likely that you’re not yet ready to date again. It’s really important that you learn to let go before you start a new relationship. You need to take the time to heal first.
Finally, you must consider all the reasons that caused your relationship to come to an end. This will help you to avoid making the same mistakes again. It’s only after working on yourself that you will be truly ready to start a healthy relationship.
2. Try online dating
Today, almost everyone is signed up to a dating site or has given it a try at least once in their life. If you decide to join them, don’t hesitate to register with a website that corresponds to your search – whether you’re looking for a serious relationship or just a fling.
If you’re searching for a 50+ man or woman, you can, for instance, register with a dating site for over 50s. You can also opt for a site dedicated to single parents looking for love, or for people who share your beliefs.
3. Create time for yourself and boost your confidence
When you have kids and a time-consuming job, as well as many other day-to-day responsibilities, it can be rather complicated to just find some time for yourself.
However, no matter how busy you might get it’s essential to always make time for yourself, primarily because you deserve it, but also because pampering yourself, exercising, seeing your friends and doing things that you like will help you to regain your lost self-esteem. It goes without saying that we all need a little confidence boost after a separation.
Therefore, before you start dating again after your divorce, why not enjoy being single a little? Remember all those things you stopped doing when you became a couple? Make you your priority and treat yourself for once!
4. Stay optimistic – or at least try
It’s understandable that after an ugly separation which leaves you hurt, sad and angry, you might not feel super optimistic about romance. You may well have lost hope in your ability to give and receive affection. Nevertheless, every one of us is capable of finding love and, whether it feels like it or not right now, this also includes you.
Moreover, not only will staying optimistic make you happier and more confident about yourself, but maintaining this positive attitude will also help you in your search for love.
5. Be open to opportunities
Stay proactive. You’ve probably heard the old saying that love often appears when it’s least expected. However, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t also get out there and make things happen. Staying home, following the exact same routine and seeing the same people over and over is not going to help you in the search for your soul mate.
Smile at people, spark up a conversation with the handsome guy sitting next to you on the bus, go to your friends’ parties. Also, try new activities and join a club or a class so that you can meet new and interesting people.
It might be difficult at first, especially when you’re a shy and home-loving person. Still, you’ll see that it gets easier with time. And who knows, one of the people you bump into along the way might even end up being Mr. or Mrs. Right!
6. Be patient
Unless you’re lucky, the odds are that you won’t find the love of your life straight away. It’s much more likely that you’ll have to meet several people, go on plenty of dates or perhaps even endure a spell of weeks or even months without any potential romance. Don’t worry, this is completely normal. Be patient, keep your chin up and get dating!
7. Forget Mr/Mrs Right
Do you believe there is one person in the world meant just for you? By now you may not believe in it, and it’s true. There are many suitable partners out there for you. Each one may have different strengths, weaknesses and passions, but each one is equally good and compatible. No matter how good it seems in the beginning, even the most perfect of relationships takes work. So don’t close your mind off completely to new opportunities and people.
2seniors is a free dating site for men and women over 50 looking for a serious relationship or friendship. Thanks to the comprehensive database, the online chat service and the forum, finding other singles has never been easier!