Disclosure: collaborative post
Becoming a parent for the first time is never easy or simple, especially for new mums. Let’s face it–expecting mothers do all the heavy lifting for nine long months, miraculously growing a tiny human and going through the rigors of childbirth. And then, after all that, there’s the messy and oftentimes frustrating aspect of figuring out breastfeeding while dealing with postpartum hormonal changes.
New mums go through a lot, both mentally and physically. If you recently became a dad or you’re about to become one, you may be wondering what you can do in those first few days, weeks and months to help a new mum out. Here are a few ways you can be supportive and make her life easier after bringing home a new baby.
Let her have some “me” time.
Even new mums need the occasional break from their newborns. As a dad, you can help the mum out by taking the baby off her hands for a short time every day. For instance, you could dress your baby in a Onesies® Brand Bodysuit (with additional layers, depending on the weather) and go for a quick stroll around the neighborhood together. This will give mum just enough time to take a shower, eat a snack and sneak in some much-needed time for herself.
Tell her she’s doing an amazing job.
Motherhood is incredibly hard work. At some point or another, your partner is almost certainly going to feel like an utter failure for some reason that may be out of her control: the baby won’t stop crying, she can’t get the baby to latch properly, the nursery isn’t perfect—the list is endless. These are the moments when she needs to be reminded that she’s doing an incredible job. Is she showing up for the baby? Then that’s enough. Let her know that she is enough.
Try to keep the house clean and tidy.
Reducing clutter in your home can have a huge impact on a new mum’s mood. One study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that women who described their home environment as being cluttered had higher cortisol levels and increased depressed mood over the course of the day.
Maintaining a clean home with a newborn is a Herculean task, we know. (Who knew that such a tiny human could produce so much laundry and mess?!) But if you want to help a new mum de-stress, do your best to keep your home tidy.
Make sure she eats.
Proper nutrition is vital for new moms, especially for those who are breastfeeding. Eating a nutritious diet can help boost her milk production, keep her energy levels up and improve her mood. To ensure that mum is getting enough calories, consider making her easy snacks (preferably, ones she can eat with one hand!) and stocking the fridge with ready-to-eat meals. Making sure that she’s fueling up properly will benefit both mom and baby.
Lighten her mental load.
One vastly underrated thing you can do as a new dad is to help lighten mum’s mental load. What is the mental load? It refers to the invisible labor that is involved in managing the household and childrearing.
You can lighten a new mum’s load by trying to anticipate her needs. Does the garbage need to be taken out? Take care of it before she asks you to do it. Has she been talking about daycare for the baby, lately? Do the research on daycares in your area and be ready to contribute to the conversation. Together, you can both divide and conquer the cognitive labor.
Be a good listener.
Listen to your partner and try to be understanding, especially during those first few weeks at home. She’s likely experiencing a wide range of feelings due to dramatic changes in hormonal levels. If she needs to vent about something, ask her if she wants you to offer advice or if she just wants you to listen. This will save you both a lot of frustration!
Watch for signs of postpartum depression.
The vast majority of moms (70-80 percent) will experience the “baby blues” after giving birth. The baby blues typically last about two weeks and are generally mild.
Postpartum depression (PPD), however, is a far more serious condition that can be deadly for new moms and dads. And yes, you read that right—dads can get postpartum depression, too. Remember to talk openly with your partner so you can encourage each other to get help when you need it.
Take tons of pictures.
You have your phone on you, right? Then take a picture of mum and baby. Take lots of pictures of them together. She probably has a bunch of cute photos of you and the baby together, but what about her and the baby? And no, we’re not talking about unflattering selfies. We mean intimate photos snapped by you—her partner and the love of her life.
The next time you see mum reading to the baby or rocking her little bundle to sleep, pull out your phone and take a picture. Capture that special moment before it’s too late. The newborn stage goes by so fast! She’ll love having photos to look back on and remember how tiny your baby was.
Being a Supportive Father and Partner
As a father, it can be difficult to know how to help a new mom. But if you’re reading this, just know that you’re already halfway there. Remember: You know your partner best. Think about which gestures she appreciates the most and go from there. Oh, and by the way—congratulations!
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1 Comment
It is a really helpful post to us. Thanks for sharing with us.
August 11, 2021 at 2:52 pm