The Many Emotions of Trying to Conceive (And How to Cope)

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Trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster. Many people start off hopeful and optimistic about having a family of their own, but as they begin taking the steps towards trying to get pregnant, those emotions can change drastically. Some become stressed, anxious, worried, angry, frustrated, resentful, and even depressed. Though these types of emotions are common, prolonged periods in this state can slow down or even stop your chances of making your dreams come true. 

The Mind-Body Connection

With the increase in mental illness across the nation, there has been more research done on the connection between the mind and the body. When a person’s psychological well-being is altered, it is believed to cause a chemical reaction that can impact them physically. Not to mention, someone struggling with overwhelming emotions may find it more difficult to conceive and carry a pregnancy to term. 

So, while the journey to getting pregnant and starting your family is a process, failure to keep your emotions under control can make that journey even more challenging. That’s why it is recommended that you know how to identify and manage emotions such as those listed below: 

Worry/Fear

One of the common emotions that a person trying to conceive will feel is worry or fear. You worry with each passing month that pregnancy isn’t possible for you. Every negative pregnancy test causes fear that something is wrong with you and/or your partner. When trying to conceive is all you think about, this worry and fear can linger resulting in anxiety. 

What to Do: The best way to cast out fear and worry is understanding. Prior to trying to conceive it is recommended that you and your partner go to the doctor and get a full check-up. Educating yourself on the conception process and how long it can actually take is also advised. In doing this, you know what your health status is and you’re also aware that it could take time to get pregnant. This helps to subside those feelings of worry and fear. 

Stress/Frustration

Trying to conceive can also lead to stress and frustration. Some couples become so obsessed with getting pregnant that it becomes a large part of their lives. They begin charting ovulation, scheduling times for intercourse, taking pregnancy tests every other day, trying every supplement, diet, exercise routine, position, and lifestyle change they can think of to increase their chances of fertility. As a result of trying to conceive being their only focus, these couples place a great deal of undue stress on their lives. This stress can then turn to frustration every 4-6 weeks when they don’t get the news they want to hear.Β 

What to do: When you set your mind to something and it doesn’t turn out the way you’d planned, it is natural to get frustrated or even become consumed with stress. Chronic stress, however, can cause fertility issues in both men and women making your quest to start a family even more difficult. To cut back on the stress, it is recommended that you not overwhelm your life with nothing but trying to conceive. Try to live in each moment and just enjoy the process naturally. You can utilise tools like fertility calendars and dietary supplements to increase your chances of conceiving, but do so within moderation and only after consulting your doctor to ensure it is safe. Lastly, when you find yourself getting stressed, find ways to relieve it. Take a break from baby talk, do something fun with your partner, go on a trip, find a project to work on in the office or around the house, or do something nice for someone else. Most couples find that when they stop putting so much pressure on trying to conceive, they often get pregnant a lot faster.Β 

Depression/Grief

Unfortunately, trying to conceive isn’t simple for all couples. Some get pregnant in a few months, some take a year or more, but there are some couples who find out that they’re infertile. Finding out that you’re not able to have a family the way you’d planned can be an emotionally devastating blow. Much like grieving the loss of a loved one, it is common to go through periods of sadness and despair. You feel broken, hopeless, and down about the fact that there’s something keeping you and/or your partner from conceiving naturally. If experienced too long, however, it can result in depression. 

What to do: Grieving the loss of your ideal family is natural. It will take time to get through. As such, you should allow yourself time to grieve. Take a step back and process your emotions, talk to a therapist, gain support from loved ones, and even learn about other options to start a family. If you notice that your grief has left you or your partner depressed, you should talk with your doctor about solutions including medication or even seeking help for depression through service-providers like Pulse TMS.Β 

Starting a family the “traditional way” isn’t as simple as thinking it and having it manifest in your life. It is a process that can be different for everyone. Throughout this journey to parenthood, it is imperative that you pay attention to your physical and psychological well-being. Whether it takes a month, a year, or you find out that you have to plan your family using alternative options, having a sound mind puts you in the best position to be the best parent possible.Β 

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February 22, 2020
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