There is a huge amount to focus on during pregnancy. Impending motherhood, excitement of the days to come, and being able to adequately prepare for them. It’s one of the most special periods in life – but it’s not without its difficulties.
It’s not uncommon for women to be concerned with how their life is going to change. Some may worry about the impact on their marriage or how often they will be able to see their friends. But for some, the worry is far more immediate: concerns about how motherhood is going to affect their career.
It would be patronizing to try and say that becoming a mother won’t impact your career. What’s more, it would be insulting. Even if you’re determined everything will just fall back into place, there will suddenly be other things to consider. You’ll be surviving on less sleep, and your mind will have new priorities. That overtime you used to do as a matter of course won’t be possible anymore due to having rigid childcare options. There will be more of those domestic emergencies, chicken pox to say the least!
Of course motherhood fundamentally changes you, challenging your desires and hopes for the future in a way nothing else does. If you have been career-focused, you may look upon the idea with concern. Many of us define ourselves by what we do, and we suddenly realise that that might be slipping away. If you want to do motherhood right – as everyone does – then you are going to have to make sacrifices in other areas. Are your career aspirations going to survive?
Can Women Have It All?
We’re constantly told that women can have it all. Women like Beyonce and Adele are held up as shining beacons; mothers who still manage to achieve everything they could want in their career.
Then you think about it for a minute and think: well, of course they can. They likely have an army of nannies, perhaps even a personal chef, to help them on their way. It’s a lot easier for them.
So can women have it all – career and motherhood? Of course! It might not be as simple, but it is possible to juggle the two. Thousands do it. There will always be guilt if you work and have children, but there’s always some form of mum guilt whatever you do. You need to be happy as a person to be a good mother to your children, and if that means working and leaving them in childcare, then do it.
What If I Want To Stay At Home?
Does this mean you have to sacrifice your career entirely? Of course not. It just means a change of direction, perhaps setting new career goals. It might even give you the opportunity to do something that you truly want to do, retraining for an occupation that you can launch yourself into when baby is of age. Or, don’t feel like you have to have it all, dedicating yourself to being a mum and staying home is a worthwhile and valid choice.
It may be the opportunity to launch your own business, finally have the time to look into nursing degrees or look into the law career you always dreamed of, or just find a different sort of fulfilment through volunteer work. The choices are endless, and by staying at home, you’ll have the chance to make them.
The Key Point Is…
Women do stay at home to raise kids; women do continue to work and achieve all the aims for their career they ever wanted. So what’s the key point here? Pregnancy is not the time to be concerned with this. It’s natural to worry, but you have so much more on your plate – don’t make it worse by panicking about what might happen in a year, five years, 10 years, time. The best protection if you currently work is to ensure you know your rights when it comes to maternity leave, and be open and honest with your boss about how your new role of mother might impact your job. But for the most part, tick those off on a checklist and leave the worrying about the future for when it actually applies.
Disclosure: collaborative post.
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