How not to help with night waking

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Picture the scene, you’ve been getting broken sleep for months and one night you’ve had enough. You decide to Ask For Help from the snoring, slumbering, sprawling person you used to enjoy snuggles with on the other side of the bed, but now you’re just jealous that he gets to lie how he wants and how he manages to switch off his parent brain whilst asleep making him unable to hear crying or demands at night. Baby’s done a poo and it’s something he can help with rather than just give an (un)sympathetic sleepy lidded look of sympathy. Here’s what you envisage happening:

  • He gets up, really happy he can get involved at night and give you a break
  • He whips the baby away before he has a chance to cry and creeps out of the room with ninja stealth and goes somewhere you won’t hear them
  • He quietly achieves the said nappy change
  • He slips back into the room
  • He brings the baby back all sleepy and happy (preferably asleep)
  • He comes back to bed without a murmur

Here’s what actually happens:

  • He mumbles he’s only half awake (same as me then)
  • You have to ask twice
  • He begrudgingly agrees
  • He pointlessly asks where the nappy stuff is
  • Seems amazed when it’s downstairs where it normally is
  • He gets up, swings his dressing gown on, knocking over and smashing his water glass in the process
  • He turns on the main light
  • He goes and gets the dustpan and brush but forgets the nappy stuff
  • You end up doing said nappy change whilst he clears the broken glass
  • You and baby are wide awake now
  • He gets in to bed and within minutes is snoring again
  • You feed the baby and settle him to sleep. Again.
  • You lie awake for ages unable to drop off because you’re now on high alert and are mentally making lists

Next time maybe I’ll think twice… I don’t mean to husband bash he is very good at other times! What’s your experience of night time parenting? How does your other half help? I’d love to hear your experiences.

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October 17, 2015
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28 Comments

  • Reply ruthmeaney

    When I started getting nursing aversion I told hubby it was his turn now. Bub was around 15 months by that point though!! The icing on the cake was my 5 weeks in hospital. He now does all night parenting for our toddler while I look after the little one.

    October 17, 2015 at 9:59 am
    • Reply MidwifeandLife

      Mine does help if the older children wake but only now because I’m usually dealing with the baby! I do wonder what would happen if I wasn’t there, I don’t think either of them would sleep much!

      October 17, 2015 at 10:02 am
      • Reply ruthmeaney

        They would find their way. X

        October 17, 2015 at 11:08 am
  • Reply MidwifeandLife

    They truly are oblivious! Keep me updated…

    October 17, 2015 at 10:58 am
  • Reply Rekella

    Been there worn the t-shirt till it was threadbare.

    October 17, 2015 at 12:07 pm
  • Reply Random Musings

    Sounds like it would be easier just to do it yourself! That’s probably your hubby’s plan. He just ensured you won’t ask again lol 🙂 #justanotherlinky
    Debbie

    October 17, 2015 at 1:00 pm
    • Reply MidwifeandLife

      Yes like when they pretend not to know how to use the washing machine!

      October 17, 2015 at 6:52 pm
  • Reply Sleepingthroughyet

    My husband mostly snores through the children’s night wakings! And on the rare occasions he doesn’t my eldest will end up having a big tantrum as she wants me to put her back to bed, so generally it’s not worth it! Hee hee

    October 17, 2015 at 1:30 pm
    • Reply MidwifeandLife

      I know even if it goes smoothly I lie awake listening!

      October 17, 2015 at 1:33 pm
  • Reply Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks

    Haha I love this – mine sleeps through and says “you should have woken me”

    October 17, 2015 at 4:35 pm
  • Reply foxxie52

    My husband is pretty good but I really hate it when I’ve got up, made the bottle, positioned the baby and THEN he says “do you want me to do that?” I know he has been awake the whole time!

    October 17, 2015 at 6:49 pm
  • Reply ERF Mama

    Oh dear… I recognize some of that! haha
    Mine is like “in a min…just need to streeeeechhzzzzzzz” ….and you wait…and you poke him…and he aaalllmooosstzzzz get up…and you poke him..and he gets up. He then goes to the toilet?!!! And comes back to bed….and your STILL poking him because he forgot what he was supposed to do…

    That’s us! hahaha

    October 18, 2015 at 11:30 pm
  • Reply Lili

    I haven’t had a child yet and my husband already told me he’s not changing any diapers. I can see this whole scenario playing out, but with me cleaning up the broken glass b/c he’s already sleeping 🙂
    ~Lili
    http://www.thefashionsalt.com

    October 19, 2015 at 3:29 am
    • Reply MidwifeandLife

      You’ll probably be amazed how he’ll step up!

      October 19, 2015 at 7:47 am
  • Reply Patterns & Milk (@patternsandmilk)

    Haha, It’s kind of exactly the same here! If he ever makes it to hear her crying, or me trying to wake him up. Usually it’s more work to wake him than to do it myself. 😉 But I’m ok with it, we’re at 16 months and sleeping through the night now.

    October 19, 2015 at 10:04 pm
  • Reply nickykentisbeer

    This takes me back. Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about this anymore with a 9 year old. I have to say though that my noisy snoring husband often hears the shout out now if there is one. I figure that’s fair as it’s taken me ages to get to sleep, so I do the pretend I haven’t heard sometimes. I agree that there are times it’s easier to do it yourself. #KCACOLS

    October 20, 2015 at 7:16 pm
  • Reply Something Crunchy Mummy

    Haha love this – so true! Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

    October 22, 2015 at 8:24 pm
  • Reply A Moment with Franca

    Great post!! You are right, sometimes it is better just to do the whole night parenting myself! He is very helpful in general and he will do anything that you ask him but it is true that during the night nothing will wake him up and when he finally does he is just half asleep and has no clue what is going on or what to do!! LOL Thanks so much for joining me at #KCACOL Jenny. I would love if you join me again this weekend!! 😉 xxx

    October 24, 2015 at 9:30 am
  • Reply Mum in Brum

    haha, this is brilliant! In the end I gave up asking for help because of exactly these reasons! Especially ‘where are the nappies?’ ‘How much formula should I do?’ Plus the next day I had to be very thankful! Haha, at least they tried! #KCACOLS

    October 25, 2015 at 9:13 am
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