Although I’ve had my struggles conceiving a healthy baby, I did at least have a willing partner who came with working sperm included (bonus). These days, having a baby via sperm donation is a fairly commonplace procedure. Many couples that find themselves struggling with fertility issues, as well as a significant number of lesbian couples and single women, are making the decision to start their family this way.
Most people who’ve chosen this route begin by visiting a sperm bank. However, the number of people opting to select their donor online (whether this be via social media or a dedicated website) has risen over the past few years. As the concept is still a relatively new one, it’s completely normal to be a little unsure of exactly where to start your search. Here are our top tips to help you to find the perfect sperm donor online.
Why should I look for a sperm donor online?
Searching for your sperm donor online, whether on Facebook, Craigslist or a dedicated website, has many advantages. One of these is that you can contact potential donors directly, without having to involve an intermediary.
Moreover, you can ask your potential donor any and all of the questions you might have, meet face-to-face to get to know them personally, as well as reach an agreement regarding your desired conception method, whether you use natural insemination, artificial insemination at home or in a clinic, or another fertility treatment to get pregnant. Your donor can either provide their donation at your own home or deposit it at your licensed fertility clinic or at any other place of your choosing.
This method also allows you to stay in touch with the donor after the birth, so that your child can know about where they come from. You can even agree to regular contact between your child and the donor all throughout their childhood, if this is what your want. Alternatively, if you prefer, you can agree to cease any sort of contact with the donor immediately following donation.
In short, it’s totally up to you. This alternative to sperm banks is particularly suited to those who want to have more control over this crucial decision. Another advantage to consider: online, most donors donate for free!
Where can I find sperm donors online?
You perhaps already know that you can search for donors using online sperm bank catalogues. Additionally, for some years now, couples and single women have been selecting donors on Facebook, Craigslist or Reddit. It’s simple, you just need to reply to sperm donors’ ads or leave your own post outlining your demands and criteria.
Another idea is to register with a website connecting sperm donors with would-be parents. These platforms work like dating websites: you create your ad, browse donors’ profiles and contact those you find interesting by sending them a message or chatting to them on the forum.
Once you’ve chosen someone who corresponds to your requirements, it’s time to work out the most suitable arrangement for both of you concerning donation.
What do I need to consider before choosing a donor?
The first thing to consider is your safety and health. So, you must make sure that the sperm donor is healthy, doesn’t carry any genetic disorders, chromosomal abnormalities or sexually transmitted diseases, and that his sperm is of good quality.
If you are arranging a private donation to save money, do not arrange to meet alone – meet somewhere crowded and take someone with you. Some men try to persuade women that ‘natural’ insemination is better i.e having sex. These are obviously the types to avoid!
If they haven’t already done so, don’t hesitate to ask them to provide you with their medical test results. You also need to check their family medical history. It’s very important that you and your future baby stay safe. Additionally, optimise your chances of getting pregnant by requesting a semen analysis. I would always say that it’s better to go through a fertility clinic, unless you know the donor personally.
Who is the perfect donor for you?
Do you want a donor who looks like you or your partner, with the same skin tone, eye and hair colour? Is their height and level of education important to you? Or perhaps personality is what matters to you most and you just want someone kind, like-minded and funny.
Choosing the right person can be a long and complicated process. There are so many factors to consider before making this major decision. Everyone is different and, therefore, your idea of the perfect sperm donor is entirely unique to you. You need to take the time to define your criteria and to consider your priorities.
A good tip is to look for someone you could see yourself marrying. Consider also what physical and psychological characteristics you would like your child to have. Why not ask your donor to show you some photos of them as a baby? Think also of what you would like to tell your child about their donor. Try to imagine the kind of story and details your child would be excited to hear about.