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So your toddler is leaving babyhood and is ready to transition to a toddler bed? Then this article is for you. We’ll be talking about when the right time is, what sort of bed to go for, tools to make the transition go smoothly and how to cope when they realise they can just get out of bed and see you whenever they want!
So, what makes me the expert? Well, I am a Midwife, Nurse and Mum of 3. I’ve done it three times with two boys and a girl with varying outcomes and I’ve talked to lots of other parents too to research this topic. All the same, you may have your own different experience when you try, but there will always be some common themes.
When is the right age to transition from a cot to a toddler bed?
There is technically no correct or set age to transition, but it is generally considered best to wait until at least two years of age. If your child is happy in their cot and still fits, there is no reason why they can’t stay there until they have physically grown out of it. Two of mine (the boys) transitioned before they were two because they were climbers and scaled that cot like a mountain goat so it wasn’t an option to keep them in there, but my daughter was happy in there until after she was three, and then we just took the sides down as it was a cotbed.
If you are having a second child and you need the cot for the new baby, consider getting another cot for the baby, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have to switch. All that change will just be a greater source of anxiety for them. If you do want to make the change, do it several weeks before the baby arrives so that they don’t feel usurped by the new arrival in more ways than one.
Before you buy the bed
Involve your child as much as possible, but bear in mind they have a short attention span and might not care about pictures of beds or talking about it if it isn’t a packet of quavers or a youtube video. Take them to see some beds and sit on them, talk about ‘big boy/girl’ beds and the bedding they can get to go with it. Of course, there are the usual implications like making sure the mattress and bed adhere to UK safety standards and the bed is a suitable size for your toddler. It can be tempting to go big and not buy again, but if it’s not going to work for your toddler, then you’ll end up buying twice. There are so many options – you could go for a themed bed as I did, or just go with your nursery theme or keep it neutral.
Are boys different from girls?
In my experience, YES! It won’t be the same for everyone, but for me and many others, the boys both climbed out of their cot around age 15 months or so and that signalled the right time to transition to bigger beds. It just wasn’t safe to leave them in a cot anymore. My daughter never tried to climb out, we just changed her bed when she was almost three, mostly because we moved house more than anything. She wasn’t that big so could have stayed in a cot a bit longer if needed. Having said that, I know plenty of parents who had it the other way around so there are no guarantees.
Will I need a bed guard?
It’s scary when those cot bars suddenly aren’t there anymore – and I’m talking about for the parents rather than the toddler! Even with a low bed, there’s always the worry of them rolling over and falling out of bed. If the flooring is soft then there shouldn’t be a problem – some people like to put an extra mattress on the floor or cushions, but largely it isn’t necessary. Most kids will soon adapt. If you feel more comfortable with some sort of transitional barrier, there are toddler beds you can get with a half rail at the head end of the bed that will make the child (and you) feel more secure. With my third child, he was very attached to sleeping with us, so I wanted the toddler bed to be a more attractive option. We went for a themed Thomas the tank engine bed with a built-in guard. He loved it and I’d love to tell you that it worked, he slept in it from day one all night every night but we all know that didn’t happen. The other option is a bed guard – you can put these on one or both sides depending on if you have a wall on one side or not. These are temporary and removable, which can be a good option if you want to get a bed that will last them into childhood.
Top tips for a smooth transition into a toddler bed
Once you’ve got the ideal bed and they’re on board with the idea, try it out with them outside of bed time and make it a safe space. Never send them to bed or their room as a punishment. Have time ins instead of time outs when you’re both in a good mood and play together with the new bed. Get all their favourite cuddly toys and put them in the bed. Play peek a boo with the covers together and have a giggle, role play with their toys by practicing putting them to bed, reading to them and saying goodnight, and closing the door. Make a nest or a fort together on or around the bed.
All that play will help cement in their minds what is going to happen. You could practice for a couple of days before the big day – you might find they are asking to go in it sooner, then just go for it. Why not try the big bed for naps first? If you have a video baby monitor you can watch from a distance how they are getting on if you like.
Routine is so important for a successful bedtime, once you have that in place it makes it so much easier because they know what to expect. I’m not saying you have to be super strict and if you don’t you’re a failure, everything is adaptable, but simply having the routine of bath, pyjamas, teeth, story then sleep is fine. If you stick to the routine for the new bed that will help. You can prepare them by promising a special story, new cuddly toy, new pyjamas, bedding, maybe a cushion – whatever you know your child will love.
Bribery, I mean a reward chart can help too. Offer a reward for staying in their bed all night if they can understand the concept. It can be as simple as a sticker or as much as you like. If they have the patience, try aiming for a long term reward, i.e. if they sleep in their new bed for five days they get a new collectible toy or magazine, whatever they enjoy the most.
Make sure the whole room is now toddler proof, because they now have access to the whole space! Even if they are really good sleepers and stay in bed all night, they may wake before you do and start exploring before you get up, so you need to make sure everything is child proof. It really does generate a whole lot more work for you both, so consider this step wisely!
Your previously good sleeper in the cot may now suddenly realise they can leave the bed and the room and they don’t have to go to sleep. This happened with my eldest son, William. We literally used to give him his bottle, put on his night light/lullaby machine, and off he would go to sleep (I miss those days), but once he was in a bed, about ten minutes after we put him to bed his little head had popped round the corner to say hello! I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do… it became a lot harder to get him to sleep. We ended up reading him a storybook each night and that helped. We also made the room practically empty and childproof, then put a baby gate up at the door. If he got out of bed at least he couldn’t go anywhere. It only took a few nights for him to get the hang of it. I must have read that same story so many times, Danny the Dozy Dinosaur was his favourite!
Others may insist that you lie with them until they go to sleep. Whilst this works, you will most likely be creating a rod for your own back. There’s no problem with doing that but be prepared that’s what they will expect for a long time. I got to the point where I just didn’t want to spend half my precious evening in a darkened room waiting for sleep, so it was either tough it out and wait for them to settle or give up and wait until they were really tired. There’s no right answer and you need to do what’s right for your family. I’m not sounding like much of an expert here, am I? Well, when it comes to parenting there are some rights and wrongs, I wouldn’t advise leaving your child locked in their room to cry themselves to sleep – of course, they’d get used to it pretty quick, they would learn you won’t come if they are scared and you might call that success but at what cost? Other than that, you can try different techniques and find what works for you. There are gentler ways of doing it. If they keep getting out of bed and finding you, just gently tell them it is bedtime and return them to the bed. They will know you are there to reassure them but also that ultimately they need to go to bed. It may take a lot of time and patience the first couple of nights but then it gets easier.
Hopefully this has given you some idea of how to go about it and what to expect when transitioning from a cot to a toddler bed. There are some lovely ones around now with beautiful canopies, I want one to sleep in myself! I’m off to make a nest. Got a question or a comment? Feel free to ask below or shoot me a question on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, I’m @lifeandthelords.
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