Disclosure: collaborative post
Sometimes life is going smoothly. The sun is shining down on you, work is going well, and you’re happy. Then there are other times when money gets tight, your children are going through a phase that you don’t understand and your relationship feels strained.
It can be harder to be the parent we want to be when we are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or under a lot of pressure. There are, however, a few things that can help you through this period.
Self-care
This might sound a little counterproductive because self-care typically focuses on one’s self. However, when you are practicing self-care, you will feel more nourished, relaxed, and less stressed. There are some problems that you won’t be able to fix, but having the energy to love those around you can help you restore some perspective.
That calm that you create for yourself can then be channeled into loving your children and nurturing them too.
Feelings
It is often the case that as parents, we want to protect and shield our children from what we consider to be negative emotions. But we aren’t doing them any favors if we don’t show them that all feelings are healthy and sometimes they aren’t nice. Of course, there are situations when things need to be a bit more well handled. If things are heated, or there are other people like solicitors and other bodies involved, then the information and any emotional outbursts should be limited.
And no matter how you feel about your partner, if it is safe for your children to love them, then don’t try to tarnish that with your bad feelings. Coming to an amicable situation and respecting the father’s rights, and the mothers too are the best for the child. See also parentingpod.com for more parenting styles.
Perception
How you see a situation, how your partner sees the situation and how your children see the situation will all be different. Perception plays a huge role in how people react and respond to things. You can’t assume that your children feel the same as you, it is essential that you ask them. No matter the age, there will be something going on, being processed and worked on.
In order to be able to positively parent, you need to understand how your child is feeling and what they are experiencing in the situation. And, children don’t always deal with things in the way we think they should. When something that we feel is big and impactful happens, but instead, they are focused on the loss of a teddy bear, let them guide the process.
Communication
Sometimes we can talk at our children, rather than with them. Especially when we are trying to explain that is going on. Instead, use a pause on purpose. Leave a gap between what you are saying and let them fill up space. After the initial conversation, you can ask them a little later if they want to talk more about it or have more questions. Let them lead after that point.
Parenting positively when things are difficult is a lot about looking after yourself, relaxing into conversations, and setting aside any guilt you have on how you’ve dealt with things to date.
Thank you for reading - if you enjoyed this content, please consider buying me a coffee here or browse my Amazon wishlist I really appreciate your support and it helps to keep the site running and for my time 🙂