Exploring your sexuality after having children (and in a long term relationship)

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Mum, this one isn’t for you. Or if it is, just let’s not discuss it, OK? Next March will see us celebrate 15 years of marriage. That’s a long time to be with the same person, right? We were together for two years before we got married, so that’s 17 years with the same man.

Whilst I still love him and fancy him, sometimes you have to switch it up. Our sex life has evolved over the years. When we first met, it was all exploration, lust and love. Then when we were trying for children it was all about timing and conceiving. After that you have the babies to look after and sex tends to take a back seat (for me anyway).

It’s a bit of a cliche but I read the 50 shades of grey series, and whilst it isn’t a perfectly written book, it did open up my fantasies slightly. I also read The Diary of a Submissive, which is actually a better book and a true story. We bought some toys and experimented with some light sub dom play. It is hard to fully fulfil those fantasies when you have children in the next room, especially when they aren’t always asleep! I’d love a bigger house for this very reason. Dungeon anyone? Or maybe just our own red room, in a secret passageway with a nice comfy bed and a TV. A girl can dream!

When you’re looking into new ways to add spice to the bedroom, you can go all out and try out things like sissy play but that’s a bit much for me. I’d be scared he’d get really into it and start looking for a local mistress to play with. It’s just not in me to play the dominatrix. I prefer to be the submissive one, but I’m happy to play the dominant occasionally. I think I would lose a bit of respect for a man that wanted to be a maid or a dog or something, but I’d probably enjoy telling them to clean the house and lick my shoes. Plus the cleaning would be done! If that’s your thing go try sissy dating.

Getting over the embarrassment factor

This is high on the list, we’re both a bit shy when it actually comes to saying the words out loud. I think you just have to take some liquid courage and go for it. I find we always have the best sex when we go away for the night just the two of us. We’re in new surroundings, away from the children and it feels romantic. You can pretend to be new lovers, or other people. Even take it a step further and pretend to be other people. Slip on a different outfit or lingerie and really act the part.

We constantly evolve our sex life and even now after all these years we talk about it and change things up. Most of the time though we know what works and stick to that! I think communication is the key, and being comfortable with your partner. What do you think? Have you changed as a couple throughout the years?

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October 11, 2019
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  • Reply Kim Carberry

    I had to Google what sissy play was. lol
    I could get behind being the dominant one if I could order my fella to clean the house.
    Kim Carberry recently posted…This week my Word of the Week is: Friends. #WotWMy Profile

    October 11, 2019 at 9:03 pm
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