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As the guest at a wedding, your main concern should be spending valuable moments with the happy couple. However, there are a few other things worth thinking about if you want to make sure that the day goes as smoothly as possible. While the biggest gift of all is the fact that you’re there to spend this wonderful moment with your close friends or family members, you’re probably planning on bringing something a little extra along too.
Unfortunately, gift giving in weddings can be a pretty complicated process. It’s always difficult to know for certain what the rules are, particularly if you haven’t had a wedding of your own yet. Here are some top tips to follow if you want to make sure that you’re the perfect wedding guest.
1. Accept the “No”
If your couple asks for absolutely no gifts to be brought to the wedding, for any reason, it’s your responsibility to respect that. Sometimes, people really don’t want gifts, and in certain parts of the world, there are so many rules around presents that it can be difficult to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. Even if you desperately want to give the couple something, it’s best to avoid making a scene.
Ultimately, this day isn’t about you, and gift giving shouldn’t be either. If you feel like you have the perfect idea for the ultimate gift, you could always bring it up with the couple in advance and suggest giving it away from the ceremony, but be prepared to walk away from the idea if they say no.
2. Use the Gift List
If the couple have spent the time and effort to make a list of things that they genuinely need and want from their wedding guests, don’t just ignore it and assume that you have better intuition. The chances are that these items are essential to this couple, so it’s best to stick with what they’ve actually asked for. If you buy something separate from the list, then you could duplicate an item that they already have or end up wasting their time with something they don’t want.
Using the gift list also means making sure that you pay attention if the bride and groom asks for cash and vouchers rather than physical items. While it might not seem like much fun to give cash as a present, it can be very helpful for things like paying for the costs of the wedding, and the honeymoon too.
3. Get Personal
If you have the scope to have some creativity with your gifting choices, don’t be afraid to get a little personal. A poem that you write for the couple, or a beautiful, embellished frame that they can put their wedding picture in could be something that they cherish forever. Today you can even add a sentimental photo and custom message to Visa egift cards, creating an instant, spendable, keepsake.
Don’t go for the same old boring “his and hers” gifts. Instead, think about the moments that you’ve spent with each person in this couple, and the important times that they’ve had together too. You could even get them a framed picture of the first time they hung out together at a party, or a picture of the stars and where they were in the sky on the night that this couple met.
4. Give Heirlooms in Advance
If you’re giving a sentimental heirloom style gift that the bride or groom might be able to use in the wedding, then you should probably get that to them in advance. Things like family jewelry pieces that could be incorporated into the wedding outfit, or beautiful cufflinks that have been passed down through the decades are definitely worth having here.
Remember, if you do give an heirloom or sentimental gift and the couple decides not to use it in the big day, that’s not an attack against you. Your item might not fit in with their plans.
5. Use Common Sense
Finally, when you take the gifts to the wedding itself, make sure that you’re using your common sense. There’s usually a box or a place where you can put wedding cards and small gifts at the wedding. However, if you bought a gift that’s very valuable or big, then you might need to get it delivered to the couple’s home before or after the big day instead.
Try not to bother the bride and groom and push them about the gift when you’re at the wedding either. You can always find someone else to help you find where to put it.
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